I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
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