only you would photoshop your dick
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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