im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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