So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
