i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
