I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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