Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize