I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I am spending my child support on dildos
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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