Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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