All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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