What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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