U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize