I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
