one might say we're banned from that church
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
