Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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