Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize