ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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