covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you didnt know i had herpes?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I think I just shit out all my problems.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
