So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
