When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
