there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
