if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i need an iv and a liver transplant
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
