oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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