Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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