We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
