Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
