Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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