I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize