I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
