This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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