What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize