are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize