Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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