oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
