My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
