i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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