They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize