i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
