Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
