good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
