There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
