PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
