Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
