She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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