I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
