Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize