I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
