I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
