If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
