..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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