the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
