Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize