he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Mom said you looked used
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
