every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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