when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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