Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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