The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
