and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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