I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
