I must be too annoying 4 u.
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
