it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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