My boss' voice literally gives me gas
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm always down for nudity.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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