and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
