Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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