one word: firstdatebathroomanal
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
