i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
